


The One Where the Warden Adopts A Deepstalker

by Lithosaurus



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Orzammar Culture and Customs, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-02 00:45:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17254466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lithosaurus/pseuds/Lithosaurus
Summary: Elissa Cousland lost her whole family in the fall of Highever, including her loyal hound. When she adopts a deepstalker Alistair has to adjust a little bit.





	The One Where the Warden Adopts A Deepstalker

“Elissa, what in the Maker’s name is that?” Alistair stared at the thing in her hands.

“Deepstalker.” She cheerfully said. “Pretty agreeable one. The Carta had a whole herd of them in their hideout.”

“So why is it here?” He stared at the weird snake-like bipedal thing.

“Look, it was hurt and the others were picking on it and I couldn’t just leave it there!” Elissa said in one breath.

“Yes you could.” Morrigan rolled her eyes.

This is what he got for letting Zevran and Sten go with her. The elf would egg her on because he legitimately didn’t see how most of her plans were a bad idea and the qunari actively wanted to see what would happen when they blew up in her face.

“We’re not going to keep it, right?” Alistair asked.

“Why not? He’s friendly and look at his mouth; he’d be good in a fight.”

Alistari looked at the Deepstalker’s mouth. He immediately regretted it.

“Elissa-”

“Just give him a couple days.”

A couple days turned into a few weeks as they trudged through the Deep Roads looking for a missing crazy woman.

Despite being more or less a weaponized tube sock, ‘Snappy’ turned out to be pretty useful. He munched on nugs, fungus, and the spare, alarmingly humanoid bones they found which meant they didn’t need to feed him. (There was one night when Elissa gave him some cheese. That was a mistake; there’s not much airflow in a tunnel.) He could see through the darkness better than anyone else but Shale and had an excellent sense of hearing that alerted them of shriek ambushes more than once.

Elissa loved him and he loved Elissa right back. She even would let the creepy little thing sleep in her tent which meant that Alistair had to deal with clammy, furless lizard skin waking him up in the middle of the night.

In battle, he would crouch at Elissa’s heels and watch her back for any flanking attackers to bite with his terrifying circle demon mouth. Oghren, or all people, seemed to like the beast nearly as much as their leader. He fashioned leather armor for Snappy to wear and taught him how to ‘speak’ in addition to his battle commands. ‘Speak’ for deepstalker of course meant a spine-shivering screech.

“You really don’t like him do you?” Elissa asked him once they had made their way back to Orzammar with no Paragon but one really fancy crown.

“No, I really don’t. He’s creepy.” Alistair admitted.

Snappy kicked a little bit on Elissa’s lap and resettled in his sleep. Curled up as he was with his black eyes and nightmare-fuel mouth closed, Alistair could almost see how he was cute.

“I can see that.” said Elissa. “He’s so sweet, though. He makes me think of my dog.”

“You had a dog?”

She nodded. “Stormy. She was a mabari who bonded wth me when I was a child. She was a sweet girl, too. She saved my life.”

“When Howe attacked Highever.” Alistair filled in the blanks.

Elissa’s hand didn’t stop its careful strokes down Snappy’s spine but he saw her jaw clench.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“For what? Talking about a subject that I brought up?”

“For your loss. I know what it’s like to lose a family.”

Elissa smiled sadly. “Come here and kiss me. I can’t move right now.”

 

Alistair had secretly hoped that Snappy would be too afraid of the open sky to come with them to the surface. He wasn’t. If anything, the deepstalker flourished in the sun. He quickly learned the pleasures of sunning himself and chasing birds. Sandal loved him and would play fetch with spare sticks when they had the time. Shale and Bodahn both muttered about tunnel vermin but tolerated his presence. Wynne was horrified, Lelianna did her best to be kind but clearly was no more comfortable than Alistair.

Their opinions didn’t matter because Elissa loved Snappy and Snappy love Elissa. He trotted at her side as they climbed into the Frostback mountains and fought a dragon. He scared the dignity right out of the halla when they met the Dalish. He even managed to chew directly through the wrought iron of their prison when they were taken to Fort Drakon.

As they prepared for the Landsmeet, Alistair reflected on the last year of his life. He’d lost his family in more way than one but grown so much. He’d seen places he never could have imagined and done things reserved for storybook heroes. And he’d met the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with; a woman who had a pet deepstalker.

Creepy lizard-worm or not, Alistair knew he was going to have to make his peace with Snappy. To this end, he decided to do something.

Alistair found Snappy pressed against the bathing room door trying to fit himself under it.

“Hey there, little man.” Snappy looked up at him.

“Yeah, look, I feel stupid doing this but the kennelmaster at Redcliffe swore by talking so here I am.” Alistair took a breath. “Elissa really likes you and I can kinda see why. You’re…fierce. Loyal and dependable. Even if you don’t kill an enemy you win because they’ll have nightmares about you for the rest of their life. I wasn’t the best to you when we first met but I, er, want to turn a new page. Which is a dumb phrase because you can’t read. But you can’t speak Common so it’s already stupid.”

Snappy stared up at him. After an awkward moment where Alistair thought he might end up bitten Snappy popped up onto his feet and nuzzled his face against Alistair’s palm. His scales swere smooth and cool. Under his chin, the scale felt silky soft. When Alistair rubbed him at the hinge of his jaw he trilled almost as if he was purring.

The bathing room opened Alistair jumped away from the deepstalker. Elissa was wearing a towel and looking at him with a wide grin. Snappy rubbed up against her knee.

“What?” Alistair asked.

She kissed him on the cheek. “I knew there was a reason why I loved you so much.”

“You heard all that?”

“Every last bit.”

 

After the Archedmon had died and the dust settled, Ferelden saw the rise of two new monarchs. Snappy attended their wedding and coronation, of course. He wore a necktie and looked adorably deadly.


End file.
